A Rand was worth US$1.40 from the time of its inception in 1961 until 1982 when mounting political pressure combined with sanctions placed against the country started to erode its value. The currency broke above parity with the dollar for the first time in March 1982 and continued to trade between R1 - R1.30 to the dollar until June 1984 By February 1985 it was trading at over R6 per dollar and in July that year foreign exchange trading was suspended for three days to try to stop the devaluation. By the time PW Botha made his Rubicon speech on 15 August 1985 it had weakened to R2,40 per dollar. Well, folks, today we sit at about R10.85 and some days more, the worst been R24 to the dollar..... Any and all donations will be greatly appreciated........LOL
Monday, 24 March 2014
Skimpy Dressed Lady and the Hassid
On a bus from Bnai Brak to Jerusalem full of Hassidim, a pretty
young lady in a skimpy outfit boards the bus- and has no choice but to sit
next to Hassid . He squirms a while, then reaches into his knapsack and hands her
an apple. . . .. . . . "What's this?" she inquires. "An apple." He replies
"Why did you give me an apple?" she persists. "Because, until Eve ate the apple,
she didn't realize she was naked."
young lady in a skimpy outfit boards the bus- and has no choice but to sit
next to Hassid . He squirms a while, then reaches into his knapsack and hands her
an apple. . . .. . . . "What's this?" she inquires. "An apple." He replies
"Why did you give me an apple?" she persists. "Because, until Eve ate the apple,
she didn't realize she was naked."
The next morning, she again boards the same bus making the same
run to Jerusalem. This time she is better attired, sits down next to the same Hassid, and hands him an apple. "What's this?" he asks suspiciously. "An apple," she shoots back. "Why an apple?" he inquires.
run to Jerusalem. This time she is better attired, sits down next to the same Hassid, and hands him an apple. "What's this?" he asks suspiciously. "An apple," she shoots back. "Why an apple?" he inquires.
"Because until Adam ate the apple, he didn't know he had to work for a living."
Friday, 7 March 2014
Bread, Jam and Condoms
A Sam, Cohen, A South African Jew , is enjoying a hearty breakfast - bacon, eggs, coffee, croissants, toast, butter, jam, etc. when an American, chewing gum, sits next to him and starts an unwanted conversation:
American: "You South Africans eat the whole bread?"
South African: "Of course."
American (blowing bubble with his gum): "We don't. In the States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle, rebake them into croissants and sell them to South Africa."
South African: "Oh Really?"
American: "D'ya eat jam with the bread?"
South African: "Of course."
American (chuckling and crackling his gum between his teeth): "We don't. In the States we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, put all the peels, seeds and left overs into containers, recycle them into jam and sell it to South Africa."
South African: "Do you have sex in America?"
American: "Of course we do."
South African: "And what do you do with the condoms?"
American: "Throw them away of course."
South African: "We don't. We pack them into containers, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell it to America."
American: "You South Africans eat the whole bread?"
South African: "Of course."
American (blowing bubble with his gum): "We don't. In the States, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle, rebake them into croissants and sell them to South Africa."
South African: "Oh Really?"
American: "D'ya eat jam with the bread?"
South African: "Of course."
American (chuckling and crackling his gum between his teeth): "We don't. In the States we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, put all the peels, seeds and left overs into containers, recycle them into jam and sell it to South Africa."
South African: "Do you have sex in America?"
American: "Of course we do."
South African: "And what do you do with the condoms?"
American: "Throw them away of course."
South African: "We don't. We pack them into containers, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell it to America."
Friday, 28 February 2014
You know you grew up Jewish when......
You know you grew up Jewish when......
1 - You spent your entire childhood thinking that everyone calls roast beef brisket".
2 - Your family dog responds to complaints uttered in Yiddish.
3 - Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting your grandparents.
4 - You were as tall as your grandmother by the age of seven.
5 - You can look at gefilte fish and not turn green.
6 - Your mother smacked you really hard and continues to make you feel badly for hurting her hand.
7 - You can understand Yiddish but you can't speak it.
8 - You know how to pronounce numerous Yiddish words and use them correctly in context, yet you don't exactly know what they mean. Kenahurra.
9 - You grew up thinking it's normal for someone to shout, "Are you okay? Are you okay?" through the bathroom door if you're in there for longer than 3 minutes.
10 - You have at least six male relatives named David.
11 - You feel a sense of pride after seeing a Stephen Spielberg movie.
12 - You thought that speaking loud was normal.
Jewish American Princesses
Two Jewish American Princesses were having lunch. Suzy complained that every time she and her husband Gary had sex, he hollered and yelled when he climaxed.
Miriam said, "So what's wrong with that?"
Suzy answered, "He wakes me UP!"
Miriam said, "So what's wrong with that?"
Suzy answered, "He wakes me UP!"
Hymie says to Moishe
Hymie says to Moishe: ‘We’ve been friends for years. I’d do anything for you. If I had two houses I’d give you one.’
‘That’s very kind,’ says Moishe.
‘No problem,’ says Hymie, ‘if I had two cars, I’d give you one.’
‘What if you had two chickens?’ asks Moishe.
‘You putz,’ says Hymie. ‘You know I’ve got two chickens.
‘That’s very kind,’ says Moishe.
‘No problem,’ says Hymie, ‘if I had two cars, I’d give you one.’
‘What if you had two chickens?’ asks Moishe.
‘You putz,’ says Hymie. ‘You know I’ve got two chickens.
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